“People will leave your life as you change as a person. Don’t fret—see it as a blessing, even if it may hurt at first. In the long run you will be better off for it. Your time with this person (even if it be a lifetime) has taken its course—and it is now time to move on. Do it and accept your fate—close the door. A new one is waiting to be opened.”
Junaid - Memoirs to myself - Sun 17th August ‘25 - 07:32AM
With this article, I am going to focus more so on people who have been in our lives and are no longer in it. I will relate this mainly to friends and friendships. I will touch on personal experiences too, as this has been something very relevant to me over the last few months. If you can relate—great. If not—then it is just something to keep in mind for future scenarios. There is no use holding onto something when its time has passed. Like trying to keep a dying leaf on a tree—let it fall—a new one will regenerate next year.
The End of a Cycle
You have been friends with this said person for years, so the thought of no longer being around them, talking with them, and doing things can be quite painful.
In fact, many experts say that losing a close friend is like when a relationship ends—or even when someone dies.
But there is a reason this cycle has ended.
Maybe you no longer match in terms of people and you are on different paths.
Maybe he/she is living a different life to you—and the two of you can no longer relate.
Or maybe you have fallen out—and this so-called ‘friend’ has shown their true colours.
Whatever it is—it has happened for a reason, and only you deep down will know the relevance of this ‘falling out’.
If the cycle has ended—then accept it. Do not reach out and try to make amends. Have love for them internally and wish them well.
And then move on.
The cycle is complete.
They will go
Sometimes our friends are not supposed to be with us for our entire lives. Even if we have known them for 20–30 years, there still comes a time for an end.
It can be quite hard to accept this reality—but ultimately if this person has shown their true colours, then it is quite black and white. Additionally, you will have known within your heart that this friendship has served its course—and oftentimes this realisation will come before you even have the ‘event’ which ends the friendship.
The event often being some sort of argument or fight which means you go silent on one another.
Regardless of what caused the ‘break’, your inner instinct will know this was coming based on how you react to the situation.
And we must not be weak.
There is no point grovelling and running back to a friend—if they were in the wrong.
If you did something wrong—cool—that’s different and you should apologise.
But if it is them, and they don’t—well then they have shown their true colours.
Move on—your time with them is done.
Why we lose friends
To gain new ones.
Sometimes long-term friendships, even those from childhood, ingrain us to behave a certain way. They don’t allow us to expand and become new people.
But if we as humans are ever-changing and developing, it holds true that our friendships will too.
We lose friends because we have outgrown the friendship and we no longer have things in common.
Whilst he/she may want to do one thing—you may be diametrically opposed to it.
As we evolve we shed layers of the old self—and sadly sometimes this includes old friends and friendships—ones that we may have had for a lifetime.
But it is a necessary shedding that must be done.
New friends will come—but only once we lose the old.
And again—you will know, deep down, if this is relevant to you.
How to accept the end of the old
Despite what has been said above—this is not a time to jump to conclusions. We don’t want to end friendships simply for the sake of it.
But, as said above, once someone has shown you their true colours, and you know it is time, then the friendship should be ended and you must move on.
Yes, you probably will have some heartache and loneliness—but it is necessary to prepare you for the next step.
New friends will come, and often they will be in alignment with the person you are becoming/want to be.
Such new friends can be found in places you visit often—like the library, the gym, etc.
Rather than in the club or inhaling intoxicants.
You can accept the old by realising this friendship no longer serves you. Wish them well internally, but move on.
Trust me, within a couple of months you will not even recognise the person you were in that friendship.
It is for the best.
The beauty of all this is that new friendships will come—and you will learn a lot about yourself in the process.
But the only way the new can come in is when the old is dispensed with.
As the famous quote goes:
“Out with the old - in with the new”
Let us strive to be courageous enough to remove the old, and open enough to accept the new.
These new friendships will have you wondering what on Earth you were doing spending so much time with the last friend.
Plus it is a chance for you to be you, without being weighed down by the expectations of who you were (this is what old friends often bring).
Out with the old and in with the new—embrace it—you have become anew, so it is only right that those in your life follow suit.
📩 Instagram: @khanwarriorfit
📩 TikTok: @khanwarriorfit
📩 X: @khanwarriorfit
📩 YouTube: @khanwarriorfit
📩 Email: contact@jkhanwriting.com
